MRS. SKAPINSKI HAS A BAD DAY

“I am so sorry and I am so embarrassed. I should have stopped when everybody was honking at me, but I just thought maybe a brake light was out.”

Goat Soup Radio spoke with Mrs. Skapinski at her home, roughly 3.5 miles from where the incident is said to have occurred.

 

Mrs. Skapinski 

“I just did what I've done a thousand times before. I paid the gas station attendant in cash – it’s always cheaper than paying with a credit card - and then I went back to my car to fill up my tank. I suppose my mind was elsewhere because the next thing I remember, I’m driving home and, like I said, everybody was honking at me. I will admit the car seemed a little sluggish whenever I tried to accelerate. But, again, who knew? And this one man was very rude. When I stopped for a light this man pulls up next to me and is just laughing like there is no tomorrow. Then, he rolls down his window, points to the back of my car and starts yelling something about my own private pipe line. Well, I just thought he was crazy. The light turned green and I just continued on my way home.”

“It really wasn't until I got home that I realized what I had done. When I got out of the car and looked behind me and saw the gas nozzle still in the gas tank and the hose attached to it, going down my driveway and down the street as far as I could see, I was in shock. I didn't know if I stretched the hose all that way or if they make it that long. Pretty soon the neighbors started to come out and I didn't know what to do. For a second I even thought about driving back to the gas station. But then I thought all they would have is the beginning of the hose and the end of the hose and none of the middle part. Finally, the fire department came and I figured that if anybody knew how to roll up a hose and put it back, they do. Well, they said that they couldn't do that and I would have to wait for the police to arrive."

Running Down The Road

“ All of a sudden up my driveway comes the gas station attendant, mad as hell. Seems like once he realized what happened he had to close the gas station and follow the hose all through town until he came up to my car. He starts telling me that this happens at gas stations once every couple of years. And, that there is some kind of unknown, secret law that says anyone forgetting to put the nozzle back and drives off with the hose still attached is charged by the oil company $245.00 for every mile of hose pulled off it's property, if paid in cash and $265.00 per mile if paid by credit card. Well, I didn't have that kind of cash on me and so I had to pay top dollar for them to

 

Reeling In The Hose:
One Tough Job

come with this huge, round reel, just like the kind I use for my garden hose, only much bigger. It took them about two hours to roll up the hose and take it back to the station. They had to close off the streets and everything. I never knew sumo wrestlers specialized in this kind of thing." 

 

 

“Pretty soon, my block was back to normal and the next time I need to fill up I’m, going to one of those full service gas stations and I’ll just sit in the car and let them pump the gas.”

Editors Note: Through numerous Freedom of Information Act filings, Goat Soup Radio has learned the truth behind these mishaps. In 1946, with a scarcity of oil due to the war, the government began giving subsidies to oil companies to build more gas stations. The simplest way to run the program was to pay the oil companies $.25 for every foot of gas hose they put in to each station. Always looking to make a dollar, gas companies began to make their hoses longer and longer. Today, it is estimated that each gas hose is 4.5 miles in length.